Gripes With College Football

There's a lot to love about college football. There's the excitement and emotion. There's the enormous stadiums, electric clouds and getting to watch kids who'll soon be playing on Sundays.

Did I mention the hot college girls?

But every year, there are things about college football that are so utterly stupid that it makes your head hurt. It's bad enough having the enjoyment of my Saturdays dictated by whether Penn State wins or loses. Add in the fact that the people that control college football care so much more about money than anything else, that it really hurts the game.

So with the season almost complete, and the inevitable BCS clusterfuck soon upon us, lets take a look at some of the things I hate about college football.


The BCS Continues to Ruin Our Sporting Lives
We might as well start with the hot topic in college football right now; Oklahoma playing in the Big 12 title game, giving themselves the in-road to the National Championship game. There are three one-loss teams in the Big 12: Oklahoma, Texas and Texas Tech. The Sooners destroyed Texas Tech at home, Texas Tech beat Texas on a last-second touchdown at home and Texas beat Oklahoma by 10 on a netural field.

Since the Red Raiders were embarrased in every sense of the word by the Sooners, they've pretty much eliminated themselves from the discussion. The argument for Oklahoma? They've been the second half's most explosive team and destroyed Texas Tech and Oklahoma State in consecutive weeks. Texas lost to Texas Tech and only beat the Cowboys by four points.

Quite frankly, that argument's garbage.

Texas beat Oklahoma on a neutral field. That's it; end of argument. Since there's no playoff in place, head-to-head matchups have to count more than anything. A last-second defeat in Lubbock, in what was the final game of a brutal four-game stretch for the Longhorns will probably cost them a chance at the title, while Oklahoma gets to leap-frog a team they lost to.

So yeah, the BCS kinda sucks.

(And one more thing. Why in God's name is the BCS ranking even one of the tiebreakers? How did such a terrible idea ever get accepted? I feel like if there was a meeting of Big 12 officials, and they were trying to figure out all the tiebreakers and someone said, "Hey, if it gets to the fifth tiebreaker, why don't we just let the BCS figure out?" than that person would immediately be booed, shunned and ridiculed to the point where he would have to leave the room in shame. But that's just me....)


Feel Free To Soil Yourself, It's Only Your Biggest Game of the Year
Before Saturday, there was a very realistic possibility that Penn State would have to play Oregon State in the Rose Bowl. The Beavers only had one loss in the Pac-10, and after beating USC, owned the tiebreak. They just had to win their final game - an intense rivalry game against Oregon at home - to earn a trip to Pasadena. Since Penn State played and beat Oregon State convincingly earlier this season, the scenario of playing them again sucked. I was legitimately terrified but my roommate thought that the Beavers would lose. The rationale? Every team seems to find a way to lose their biggest game of the year.

And the Beavers delivered. Big. They lost 65-38.

Every time a team controls its own destiny with an opportunity to achieve great things, they find ways to crap the bed. When Penn State was in position to get to the National Championship, they lost 24-23 at Iowa. When Texas Tech had their chance, they forget to show up against Oklahoma. Texas couldn't hold on in Lubbock. Two weeks ago Maryland could've gotten to the ACC championship by winning out, then emphatically lost to Florida State at home. Even dating back to last year, West Virginia just needed a win over a lowly Pittsburgh team at home to get to the title game, and still lost.

And after Saturday, you can probably add #1 Alabama to that list.

Enjoy it while you can 'Bama. You're day of reckoning comes Saturday.

Good Ole' Boys Run College Football
Sylvester Croom, the first black head football coach in the SEC, resigned from Mississippi State over the weekend. Mississippi State is 4-8 and just lost to rival Mississippi 45-0. It was probably time for Croom to go.

But with Croom stepping down, there are currently three black head coaches out of a possible 119 in Division 1-A football. That's ridiculous.

Fifty-four percent of student athletes and 33% of college football assistants are minorities. Of that 33%, only 13% are African-American offensive and defensive coordinators, so it's clear that there's not a terribly large pool of candidates to choose from.

But it's hard to believe that there aren't more than three qualified black coaches to lead college football teams. Part of the problem may be that alot of a school's rich, (white) alumni, that cut big checks to their alma mater's athletic programs, aren't as receptive to hiring a black coach as the school's athletic department is. Some argue that college football should institute the equivalent of NFL's "Rooney Rule," which would make it a mandatory requirement for teams to interview at least one minority candidate for every head coaching position.

That seems like a drastic change, but three out of 119? It might not be such a bad idea.


The Media's Love For Scoring and Disdain for Rational Thinking
I'm not going to argue that the Big Ten's a good conference this year. It's probably the third best conference in college football; well behind the Big 12 (the best conference in football) and the SEC (although this one's closer than you may think).

But the way the media fellates the Big 12 because of their explosive offense, yet discredits Big Ten wins because the scores aren't in the 50's is absurd. Have you ever watched a Big 12 game? They don't play defense. They don't try to play defense. They could care less if the other team scores, as long as they do it quickly so their offense can get back on the field. They don't even bother kicking field goals, because teams know that you'll need touchdowns to win.

Hey, I love points too. It's awesome seeing Michael Crabtree burn a hapless defender down the sideline for a long touchdown. Watching shootouts are exciting.

But just because a team wins 45-40 doesn't mean it's far superior to a team that wins 17-10. Put one of those fast Texas teams in 25 degree weather and snow (a common temperature for a November Big Ten game) against a real defense and it's a lot harder to break 40.

Which brings me to my next gripe....


I Don't Know if You Noticed, But the SEC Kinda Sucks
We have the media and some fans trumpeting how the SEC has so much speed. They get quick Southern burners that can fly all over the field.

The SEC has two elite teams and not much else. Traditional powers like Auburn, LSU and Tennessee are terrible. Georgia has collapsed in every big game they've played this year (including an indefensible loss to an ACC team in Georgia Tech last week). It's so bad that Ole Miss is friggin ranked right now.

I believe Florida's the best team in the country. I think Alabama is a bit overrated. Their best wins are over Clemson (sucks), Georgia (talked about them) and LSU (not what they used to be), but I give them credit for winning all the games they were supposed to. Both those teams are worthy National Championship participants.

But the rest of the Conference is a disgrace. If anyone tells you otherwise, you have permission to punch them in the face. (Just tell the person you hit that I told you you could do it. I'm sure they'll understand).

What Happens When You Match Senility with Arrogant Smugness? ESPN's College Football Show!

Can we all just agree that Lou Holtz and Mark May are the worst sports analysts out there right now? Every weekend ESPN feels the need to shove these two down our throats, in what can only be a weekly test of our sanity. May is the most arrogant D-bag on television and Holtz is like the old, ornery relative that spews angry nonsense at family gatherings that everyone tries to ignore. And someone actually thought that putting these two together was a GOOD idea?

Well, at least with them, you can count on the occasional confusing, uneducated, angry rant...

Playoffs?!?!? You Kiddin' Me?!?!?
There has been so much said, discussed and debated about this subject, that it's not even worth devoting a ton of space to talking about it. Simply put, there needs to be a playoff. College football is in no rush to change the current system and could care less if we don't like it. End of story.

But if our President-elect can use valuable airtime to pine for a playoff, than NCAA officials can take time away from counting and stacking their money and find a way to make it happen. Just sayin'.

I'll see you in Hell Bowl Championship Series

All Photos Courtesy of Google Images